


we always do

by piecesofgold



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Slight Canon Divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 17:28:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6916627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piecesofgold/pseuds/piecesofgold
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She felt rather than heard Bellamy come up behind her. Her skin warmed as he sat beside her, shoulders knocking together. After a minute of sitting quietly, his breathing started to match hers.</p><p>"Don't feel like celebrating?" He asked, facing her, searching her eyes for any sign of distress.</p><p>She offered him a small smile, taking a swig of her moonshine. "Still trying to figure out what there is to celebrate."</p>
            </blockquote>





	we always do

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! I'm not dead!!
> 
> this is...a weird one. I've never wrote rellamy before. Also, I started writing this the week before the finale aired, so it's kind of my own canon divergence.
> 
> un beta'd. any and all mistakes are mine.
> 
> enjoy!

Raven doesn't think she'll ever get used to the early morning crying.

The space beside her is empty when Aria's wailing wakes her up. So Bellamy isn't back from guard duty yet.

She yawns, swinging her legs out of bed and slipping her brace on as quick as possible. "Okay, baby, mama's here."

Aria's wails subside a little as Raven lifts her up into her arms, beginning her usual pace around the cabin. She cradles her daughter, singing softly under her breath.

 _La mejor rosa en el rosal se va a dormir_.  
_Mi bebé va a dormir porque ya es tarde_.

 _Este pequeño bebé no tiene ninguna cuna_.  
_Su padre es carpintero y hará que su_.

(If she's being completely honest, Raven doesn't understand much of the song. It was a lullaby her mother would sing to her on the nights moonshine wasn't her first priority - those had been far and in between.)

Aria begins to settle, gurgling and making grabby-hands for Raven's loose hair. Raven smiles down at her, letting Aria catch her thumb in her tiny fist. The brownness of their skin match, and seems to glow in the dim light.

Raven Reyes never thought the most beautiful thing she'd see would be her own creation.

-

Three months after ALIE had been defeated, Skaikru moved.

Well, more specifically, the hundred moved from Arkadia. They found a clearing near the beach, and after being given permission from Luna to stay, they began to build.

It was a disaster, to say the least, so much so that Octavia ended up asking Indra for help to build the cabins. 30 grounders were sent from Polis, and Raven didn't care what anyone else said, the sight of them scared the shit out of her.

(Bellamy made a point of avoiding them, a lot. After the events of the past year, Raven didn't blame him.)

The cabins were done in a month, and there ended up being more than they needed. There was a dark irony to that, one that made the lump in Raven's throat hard to swallow.

There was a minor moonshine-filled celebration once the cabins were done.

That's when Bellamy kissed her.

She'd been sat away from the group, moonshine in hand, bad leg stretched out in front of her, quietly watching the fire and the delinquents chatter amongst themselves.

She felt rather than heard Bellamy come up behind her. Her skin warmed as he sat beside her, shoulders knocking together. After a minute of sitting quietly, his breathing started to match hers.

"Don't feel like celebrating?" He asked, facing her, searching her eyes for any sign of distress.

She offered him a small smile, taking a swig of her moonshine. "Still trying to figure out what there is to celebrate."

"Not like you to be the pessimist."

"Not like you to be a therapist."

He laughed. Raven swelled with pride.

"How long do you think it'll last?" She asked after a moment, "peace, I mean."

Bellamy shrugged, leaning back, his shoulder now tucked against hers. "I don't know. It's been three months. After ALIE, I doubt anyone wants to start a fight."

At the mention of ALIE, Raven's stomach dropped. She still had the scars on her wrists. Monty still carried the burden of having to kill his mother, and then Jasper.

She had to blink back tears quickly at the thought of Jasper. It still felt like an open wound; she figured it always would. The image of Monty pulling the trigger, of Jasper crumpling to the ground would be burned into all their minds forever.

She couldn't even begin to imagine how Monty was feeling.

Seeking him out, she spotted him near the fire, moonshine in hand. Miller had an arm round his waist, seemingly trying to make Monty laugh. From what Raven could see, it was working. She was glad. They deserved a moment of happiness.

"If we don't know how long peace will last," she said slowly, looking up at Bellamy, "we shouldn't be wasting any time."

Bellamy turned towards her, faces inches apart. Raven longed to count the spray of freckles across his nose someday.

"Making a move on me, Reyes?" He murmured, lips ghosting over hers. Raven grinned, hands on the side of his face.

"Like you haven't wanted to."

He said nothing, his mouth on hers.

Raven pushed herself closer to him, hands in his hair, heart thundering like a jackhammer. Bellamy's hands were under her shirt, caressing her sides, fingers running over her ribs.

He tasted of ash and alcohol. Raven couldn't get enough of him.

-

Two months later, he tells her he loves her.

It takes another two for Raven to repeat the words back. It's okay. They have time.

-

Pregnancy isn't smooth sailing for Raven or Bellamy (mostly Raven), and it didn't help that she hadn't even _realised_ she was pregnant until she was already three months along.

It was Clarke, of all people, who took her to the med-bay for a check up on her leg and ended up freezing at the sight of her - very slightly - rounded stomach.

"Raven," Clarke's hand hovers over the other woman's stomach, "why haven't you said anything?"

Looking up, she catches Raven's blank look. Clarke drops her hand. "Ah."

Raven looks down at her little frame, confused.

She's thin - they all are, in fairness. Even on the Ark they'd barely gotten along with food pouches - but her stomach seems to be almost _cone shaped_ , her belly-button sticking out slightly.

It takes about twelve seconds for Clarke's realisation to dawn on her.

Well, shit.

Clarke gently takes her shaking hands. "You okay?"

"I'm pregnant." Raven tests the word on her tongue. Clarke offers a smile.

"I noticed that. Anything you need? Octavia can ask Indra for whatever herbs-"

"No, it's not - Clarke, I'm not cut out for - _my body isn't cut out for this_. I have a heart murmur, I can barely walk, I'm in pain constantly -" Raven stops herself, takes a deep breath. "Help?"

"You know I will," Clarke squeezes her hand. "But you should talk to Bellamy first."

-

Raven Reyes never thought she'd live to see the day when Bellamy "whatever the hell we want" Blake would be rendered speechless, but here they are.

He blinks at her. Blinks again. "Pregnant?"

"Yes. Want me to repeat it in Spanish? Estoy embarazada." She honestly isn't trying to be harsh, but goddamnit she deserves this at least.

A hint of a smile crosses Bellamy's face. His eyes are trained to her stomach. "So, we're doing this."

"If you want to."

"You know I do." His hands are on her waist then, one covering her stomach. She hears him swallow. "Hi, baby."

Raven hides her face in his neck so he doesn't see the tears in her eyes. They breathe together, hands intertwined over her tiny bump.

-

That night, he sleeps curled around her, as usual. She wakes up to him drawing circles around her belly-button with his finger.

Raven's not sure she's loved anyone more.

In the months that follow, it becomes harder to move around. Her stomach swells, putting more weight on her leg and stress on her heart. Clarke orders bed rest, and Raven doesn't have the energy to fight her.

Bellamy can't stand being away from her for longer than an hour or two. He'll rush back to their cabin, breathless, to find her sat by the fire pouring over books Monty has given her to cope with the boredom (that's not fun, either - but she doesn't mind sitting outside their cabin making bullets while watching everyone else work. Miller says he's never been more scared of her than when he's spotted her putting together guns over the swell of her stomach. It's strangely satisfying).

But the one thing that scares her the most - that scares them all - is how fast the tentative peace between Trikru, Skaikru and Floukru could go up in flames.

Raven sees it everyday, the constant anxiety, the way Bellamy will wake up in the middle of the night in sheer panic, and Raven holds him close to her as he shakes, reassure him that they're alive, they're fine, that she loves him.

She sees it in the way Murphy fidgets when Emori has gone fishing for an hour or two.

She sees it in the way Miller reaches for a gun whenever he hears a loud noise, in how some days she sees bags under Monty's eyes and just _knows_.

She feels it whenever there's a knock on the door and her hands automatically fly to her stomach, eyes locate the nearest weapon in the room.

Raven hates it, the fight-or-flight state the war left them in. They all do.

-

The very first time she feels the baby kick, she's with Murphy.

It's one of the few times she feels okay enough to walk around camp. She's four and a half months along, starting to show. Murphy needed a hand moving equipment, and Raven jumps at the chance to move at all.

"Sure you're up for this?"

"I'm pregnant, Murphy, that doesn't make me incapable of carrying boxes," she shoots back.

Murphy rolls his eyes, reaching over to pass her a box. "Hey, I just don't want Bellamy kicking my ass if somethin-"

The box clatters to the floor. Raven's hand flys to her mouth, eyes huge.

"What the _hell_ , Reyes-?!"

"Shut up, Murphy." Raven manages, voice hoarse, hands on her stomach. Murphy's eyes widen.

"Shit, are you -

"Give me your hand."

Murphy frowns at her. "Wha-"

"Just -" She gestures impatiently. He allows her to take his hand, confused.

Right up until she presses it against her stomach and he feels the tiniest of nudges against his hand. He almost chokes on air.

"Is that -" He can't speak.

"Yeah." Raven breaths tearfully. Murphy wants to hug her. He doesn't.

"Go find Bellamy." He drops his hand, "I'll ask Miller to help."

"Are you -"

"Yes." He cuts her off firmly.

Raven doesn't need telling twice. She limps as fast as she can to the guards gate. Murphy watches, amused, as a totally unprepared Bellamy is sprung upon by a crying Raven, bewildered.

He'll deny the warmth in his chest as he watches Bellamy's face open in shock as he, too, feels the nudges against his palm.

-

Raven pulls off her shirt and maybe it's just the angle or something, maybe because Bellamy's been busy away the last few weeks negotiating trade with Harper and Indra and hasn't really seen her in that time but – wow she looks pregnant.  
   
Incredible, and pregnant. She glowing. Even Clarke had mentioned that Raven's smile had been appearing more often than not.  
   
Well – he knew she was pregnant. She's six months along. She spent six weeks puking every hour of every day and her breasts went up two cup sizes in a month – there was no mistaking that she was pregnant.  
   
But she didn't have that much of a bump, he could swear. It was kind of there, and he'd run his hands over her abdomen and feel the difference, look at her side ways and see the hint of it, but... visually it wasn't _that_ pronounced.  
   
Now though - well. Yeah. Wow.

Raven's chattering away, eager about the water pump she and Monty had designed, the filter they'd managed to fit in. He's trying to listen, he really is, but his eyes are transfixed on her midsection.

She stops, realising he's only half listening and staring at her stomach. Slowly, she moves forward so that his face is level with it.

"You okay?"

He blinks up at her, seeing the concern in her eyes. Raven Reyes, who's carrying his child inside her at the risk of her own life, is worried about _him_.

Bellamy doesn't think he'll ever get used to that.

He nods quickly, binging his hands up to her rounded stomach. "I don't think my mom ever got this big with O."

Raven breathes a laugh, carding a hand through his curls. "Well, all Ark babies were tiny. I'm sure you were at some point."

He rests his forehead against her bare skin, relaxes into her touch, feels the warmth of the child growing inside of her. Their child.

He presses a light kiss above her belly button. She inhales, exhales shakily.

"I wish I'd known you."

"On the Ark?"

"Mmm."

Raven tilts his head up, leans down and kisses him hard. "You know me now," she whispers, eyes locked on his. "That's enough."

That night she's woken up, groggy, by the sound of his voice. Bellamy is under the covers, whispering gently to the bump.

"I know it's a little tight in there, kid, but you've got to cut your mom some slack. She hasn't had it easy the past year." His lips are close to her stomach, breath tickling the skin. Raven's breath hitches slightly as his words are followed by hard kicks. She'll _never_ get used to that.

Bellamy's quiet for a long moment, waiting for her to settle before he speaks again.

"I wish I could tell you you're gonna have an easy life. I wish I could tell you that the fight was worth it, they we're at peace. But I can't." Raven reaches for him at these words; he finds her hand in the darkness.

"Truth is, we don't know when the next fight will be. We've been making bullets and bombs for months because we don't know which side decides they've had enough and strike first. We could die tomorrow, or next week, or next month. All I know for sure is that your mom and you, you're my first priorities. You - you'll always come first. I knew that before I realised I loved Raven. I knew that before you existed." He's quiet again; Raven hastily wipes the tears from her eyes. "Raven's all I'll ever be sure of."

"We love you, kiddo. You're gonna grow up so loved." His words are fierce now, breath warm. "Me, you mom, Aunt O, Clarke, Harper, Uncle Monty and Nathan....you'll always have us. _Always_."

Silence stretches out, Raven still gripping his hand, his breath still on her stomach.

Quietly, she says, "You left out Murphy and Emori."

Bellamy groans, Raven laughs, he pushes himself back up to her and tickles her sides, kisses her neck, grins in triumph at her shrieking laughter.

The baby kicks most of the night, but Raven doesn't care.

-

"We are _not naming our daughter Persephone_."

"Hey, I don't see you coming up with any better ideas!"

Raven groans, resting her head in hands. "Why are we only picking girls names, anyway? Could be a boy."

"So..."

Raven pointedly avoids his gaze. "I was thinking Jasper."

Silence drops like a stone between them. Raven makes a point of being extremely interested in her hands.

"...I feel like we should ask Monty's approval." Bellamy responded slowly. Raven's shoulders slumped in relief.

"This. This is why I love you."

Bellamy blushed, catching her hands in his.

"But I'm still standing by Dorian."

"I take it back. We're breaking up."

Bellamy chuckles as she kicks him under the table.

-

Aria Blake is the first baby born on the ground of Skaikru. Raven screams her way through labour, crushing Bellamy's hand in the process as their daughter is pushed into the world, wailing at the top of her lungs.

Clarke places her, _her daughter_ , on Raven's chest, still slippery with fluid, naked and warm and so beautiful.

Raven cries, Bellamy cries, Clarke wipes tears from her eyes as she stands back and lets them absorb the moment.

When Clarke gently takes her away to cut the umbilical cord and wash her, Raven feels an unnatural emptiness in her arms.

-

No matter how much they complain, how much they claim to despise being parents, they fool no one.

Monty makes Raven a sling to carry Aria around with her on her front or back when she's working in her lab. Bellamy takes her on long walks outside of camp, pointing out landmarks and telling her their history.

Octavia teaches Aria to walk, her first steps taken with an iron determination that Bellamy recognises as Raven's. Clarke makes her coloured pencils courtesy of materials from Indra - the wall of their cabin become decorated with scribbles and spirals of multicolour. Emori will sit by the lake with Aria in her lap, pointing out the fish and crabs, much to the little girls delight.

She is the purest thing any of them have seen in a long time. An innocence that almost makes them redeemable. Something good in so much bad.

Aria takes a liking to books, to the point that Bellamy will sit down and write out any and all mythical tales he can remember from his youth.

Sometimes, he'll tell her stories of the Ark. Those are the ones that amaze her; how could it be at all possible that people ever lived in _space_?

Raven and Bellamy share a fond smile the first time she asks that question.

Aria Blake grows up on tales of Grounders and Mountain Men, of Commanders falling in love with Chancellors, boys and girls who fell from the stars and tried to build a life.

Her favourite story, she'll tell them many years later, sat beside her brother Jasper and sister Zoe, was the one about the Grounder who fell in the love with a girl from the sky, a man who gave up everything he believed in to give her a home. "The one that always makes Aunt O cry," Aria tells them, flicking through one of her fathers old books.

Bellamy squeezes Raven's hand and leans back in his chair, closing his eyes. His dark hair has started to grey, and Raven doesn't doubt that hers probably has, too.

It's been 30 years since their last fight. Camp had disbanded and moved to Polis, which is now under a Council rather than a Commander.

Raven still wears a brace on her leg. Bellamy still holds a place in the guard. They try not to dwell on the past, but Raven still wakes up gasping with the memory of suffocating in the airlock chamber, and Bellamy sometimes needs to go on long walks to get away from plagues of memories of dead armies.

They get by. They find a way. They always do.

**Author's Note:**

> comments welcome :)


End file.
